In between the murder and mayhem, betrayals and backstabbing, trysts and torrid affairs, the characters on Game of Thrones love to indulge with a good meal. The kitchens at King’s Landing, Winterfell, and the Inn at the Crossroads are renowned throughout the Seven Kingdoms for turning out memorable feasts of epic proportions. So as the hit HBO show returns for its sixth season, we wondered what the Starks, Lannisters, and Targaryens would eat if they stepped out of our televisions and into our dining scene (we’ll take a pass on dining with Ramsay Bolton). Here are seven Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun-sized Game of Thrones dishes worthy of the successor to the Iron Throne. Because #winteriscoming.
Seaspice & Modern Garden, Miami, Florida
When Tyrion returned to Winterfell after his time on the Wall, the cooks whipped up a stunning supper starring roasted suckling pig. The Imp would surely approve of this rendition, which is served tableside with yucca gratin, green plantain fries, and pickled beets. Given the size and preparation time of this not-so-little piggy, the restaurant requires a two-day notice before the reservation and a four-diner minimum. We suggest fasting for those 48-hours, so you can truly do it justice. Make a reservation at Seaspice & Modern Garden.
Makoto, Bal Harbour, Florida
Reminiscent of the fare served at Ned Stark’s first dinner in King’s Landing, the Kurosawa bone-in ribeye clocks in at a beyond-impressive 26 ounces. Marble-rich and imported from the Land Down Under (Australia, not Sothoryos), the beef is grilled on the robata, sliced up, and served on the grill in a stunning presentation that may have even given the King’s Hand pause to admire it. Make a reservation at Makoto.
The Guild, West Hollywood, California
On Oath Day, the newly minted brothers of the Nights Watch dine on food normally reserved for the Master Commander and his high-ranking crew. Jon Snow and company enjoyed rack of lamb, which reminded us of chef Cho’s rack of New Zealand lamb chops. Pierced with a knife to create an Instagram-worthy presentation (#jonsnowisforever), it arrives with brown butter pommes puree, pomegranate demi, and a variety of veggies. Make a reservation at the Guild.
Nick + Stef’s Steakhouse, Los Angeles, California
Platters of red meat are a common entrée at the Inn at the Crossroads, but we doubt they hold a candle to this prime Fiorentina porterhouse steak. Weighing in at more than two pounds, it serves a trio of lucky guests (or just the Hound). The monster cut comes with creamed spinach topped with a fried egg, Szechuan long beans with pink peppercorns, and potato gratin de Terre Savoyarde. Make a reservation at Nick + Stef’s Steakhouse.
Del Campo, Washington, D.C.
The 48-ounce – otherwise known as three frickin’ pounds! – prime tomahawk ribeye would have been a worthy centerpiece dish at the Hand’s tourney. Executive chef-owner Victor Albisu grills the bone-in cut, then lets it rest over a smoldering heap of rosemary, thyme, and oregano so the herb’s hazy flavors accent the meat without overwhelming it. We recommend pairing it with the housemade chimichurri and smoked citrus Hollandaise sauces, as well as a side of (purposely) burnt artichokes dressed with Calabrian chilies and anchovies. Make a reservation at Del Campo.
Ford’s Filling Station, Los Angeles, California
No doubt Tyrion would conjure some choice words of praise for this whole hog dinner. The porker arrives at the table with a pig’s head salad featuring pickled tongue, fried pig ears, and headcheese tarted up with Calabrian chile vinaigrette, as well as grilled string beans and pan-roasted cavolo nero (a cousin to kale). The meal ends on a high note – not a Red Wedding style slaughter, thankfully! – with a raft of desserts showcasing porky products, including dark German chocolate cake with candied bacon. The dinner requires 10 days notice and feeds eight to 10 lucky souls. Make a reservation at Ford’s Filling Station.
Presidio Social Club, San Francisco, California
We’re pretty sure Daenerys would have preferred that executive chef Wes Shaw had catered her wedding to Khal Drogo. You won’t find any horseflesh or mare’s milk here! Instead, you can dig into an oven-roasted ribeye with a rich red wine sauce. It arrives with parmesan truffle fries and roasted asparagus with gribiche sauce, but since we’re indulging, we add on a couple more sides. You can’t go wrong with minty smashed peas or the chili amped broccoli. Make a reservation at Presidio Social Club.
What of these Game of Thrones dishes do you most want to dive into on Sunday when the show returns? And, do you think Jon Snow is not only merely dead but really most sincerely dead? Let us know here or over on Facebook, G+, Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter.
Nevin Martell is a Washington, D.C.-based food and travel writer and the author of several books, including Freak Show Without A Tent: Swimming with Piranhas, Getting Stoned in Fiji and Other Family Vacations. Find him on Twitter @nevinmartell.