10 Things You Need to Know About Top Chef Seattle Episode 8

Bart Vandaele had the great misfortune of being paired with Josie in this week’s Elimination Challenge.

Does anyone else have a bit of a holiday hangover? Too much punch? Too many cookies? Well, I’m sad to report that last night’s episode of Top Chef Seattle won’t do much to settle your stomach, thanks to the awful antics of season 2 leftover Josie.

1. It’s pretty clear that everyone is hoping that The Josie Show is cancelled very soon.

2. In the restaurant business, if you call someone an —hole, it is forgotten the next day. Except when it isn’t.

3. Oysters don’t grow in Hawaii.

4. John Tesar grew up the son of a bayman on Long Island’s east end.

5. I cannot shuck oysters to save my life.

Thanks to Josie, John Tesar is in no way the most hated cheftestant on Top Chef.

6. Drago’s oysters are garlicky-buttery-cheesey awesomeness. I could probably consume 50 of them in one sitting.

7. Josie claims she’s been an athlete her whole life, which seems implausible.

8. Josie’s remarks to Micah about his sexuality were terrible and inexcusable.

9. I’m no Buddhist, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to say “Namaste, b-tches.”

10. When you’re at judges’ table, it is best to discuss your food and your food alone, Sheldon. Do not take any lessons from CJ. Ever.

10 Things You Need to Know About Top Chef Seattle Episode 4

Tom chuckles at CJ’s plan to undermine John Tesar at every turn.

Full disclosure: Top Chef Seattle is driving me a little bit batty this season. I don’t feel as though I’m getting to know several of the contestants — and I know some others too well. We’re barely seeing Bart, Brooke, Eliza, or Chrissy. This episode featured a lot of two cheftestants who could have gone home but didn’t. Given this disconnect, I wish they’d lower the field to 10 from the get-go so that we could really get to know competitors’ strengths, weaknesses, and personalities. Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox and on to the pertinent points. 

1. On last week’s episode, the talented Kuniko went home for undersalting a batch of potatoes. They were more like scalloped potatoes, so it’s not something you can adjust after it’s baked. While Josie of the raw turkey should have gone home, she had immunity, so they sent Kuniko packing. But — rejoice! She is back in Last Chance Kitchen. I’m pulling for you, Kuniko!

Try as they may, the Canlis cannot stop staring at Hugh Acheson’s commanding brow.

2. His fellow cheftestants believe that John Tesar is living up to his reputation as Dallas’s (and now Top Chef’s) most hated chef. He’s got an ego and a lot of opinions as a chef of his age and experience might have, but I think they need to be less sensitive to what he says in the break room. Jeez.

3. Speaking of hating John, in addition to Josh not being a fan, from almost the first frame of last night’s show, CJ makes it clear that he’s gunning for John.

4. His gun must have jammed as John Tesar, and not CJ, walked away with the QFC win — and immunity.

5. Naomi Pomeroy from Beast likes her red meat slightly more well done than you might think.

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Top Chef: Texas Episode 2: Chef Ed Hardy on the Bubble Bunch, French Chefs + Veal

"How come Emeril gets to a share a plate with Padma and I have to share with Hugh? I better call my agent," thinks an envious Tom.

The second episode of Top Chef: Texas was a bit lackluster, but we’re hanging in. Hanging along with us, as usual, is our fellow commentator is chef Ed Hardy.

Welcome back, Ed. Do you know any of these folks, or have you dined at any of their restos? I’ve been to Fishtail by David Burke, and it is excellent!

I’ve only been to Fatty Crab, unfortunately. I’ve heard great things about Uchiko in Austin, though. Paul Qui might be a strong contender.

The last round of 8 each have a scant three minutes to choose their ingredient. Pretending you don’t yet know of the time twist, which do you pick — risotto / short ribs / octopus / mushrooms/ oxtails / lamb /duck / veal – and why?

Well, veal is tasteless, short ribs and oxtail are dangerous because they take so long (see the pressure cooker incident), octopus can be an unforgiving ingredient, and risotto and mushrooms seem to be too easy, so I’d pick the duck or the lamb. Versatile proteins that bring their own flavor to the party and pair well with lots of other combinations.

So, considering the time factor, who has the hardest dish now?

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